Peeling the thick layers of negativities every single day is bringing me closer to the core of my entity where I always sought to be. Every day is a revelation. Making conditions favorable within me are helping in flushing out the powerful and all pervading fear and presumably incessant temptations and longing to the transient worldly matter, I am discovering the level of my ignorance.

All these years I had stock piled the dirt, which now was about to rot. A rotten, stinking flesh I almost had become due to the fear triggered filthy and nasty thoughts. It had taken hold of my being. The pristine essence of my being was lost somewhere. The childlike innocence which made me happy even for some trivial matter had become non-existent. I was revolving around myself searching the very source of my existence where I always wanted to be. Though it seemed nearer, but difficult was it to grasp and own. The agony that I had to undergo to have a glimpse of that sublime state even though from a distant horizon is inexpressible.

Unceasing contemplation with a sincere and honest forbearing to reach home had rather singed me and I was drowning into the quagmire of hopelessness. May be it was a litmus test for me to come out of the complexities of life and become triumphant. I am treading forward with utmost caution as I am quite sure that the journey ahead is like walking on a razor’s edge which can give you wounds without warning.

Bijoy Ghimire